A cloudy future has loomed over me for the last year. It’s like I’m plodding towards this flashing, monstrous thunderstorm while it barrels towards me and I have no raincoat, umbrella, or even boots on. I know it’ll start raining soon, but I’m not sure if I should be reaching for an umbrella because lighting could strike it. Or I could try to run through it and get the downpour over with as soon as possible. Damn the inevitable soaking. And yet it’s rather ironic as I know exactly when I will encounter said thunderstorm. It will be in February 2020. After my college graduation has happened in December, after another Christmas, and after another January birthday.
In February, I will complete my contract with the New Hampshire Air National Guard, saying farewell to a rather drawn-out chapter in life. I won’t have to go onto base one weekend a month to attend drills anymore. I won’t put on my clunky green boots, my weary green knee-high socks or my wholly ill-fitting green ABU’s (Airman Battle Uniforms). Never again. And while I don’t think that specific aspect of getting out of the military will be bitter-sweet, I will also be saying good-bye to friends. Truth be told, not many, but a few sweet ones who have helped me trudge through the whole experience.
When I am officially done with the Guard, I will have absolutely no restrictions on my life. I don’t think I understand that freedom yet. I’ve been confined to Seacoast New Hampshire for the last 6 years because of school and my contract with the military. What will it be like to have the freedom to choose where and when I go somewhere…anywhere? And with no one to tell me I have to be back for a class or for a drill weekend. And a surprising thought: no dread as I think about the obligations, conversations, homework, or meetings.
Back to the thunderstorm.
Maybe part of being in the storm will be the freedom to do whatever I want. I could choose to run, hide, shiver, or fear the storm. I can blame other people for it’s affects on my life and grumble about it. And to be honest, I think I have a tendency to do that in life. I hope I don’t do it with this storm. I know it’s silly and whimsical, but I hope I dance in the rain like I used to as a kid. To let my clothes get soaked, feel to sharp rain on my skin, hold my arms open and enjoy it. I even want to laugh.
I hope I don’t try to rush it either. I tend to be constantly looking at my watch, waiting for the current situation to end so I can move onto the next one. It’s like I’m just so expectant for what’s next I don’t enjoy the moment in front of me. Even with the good things in life I do this!
The New Plan
My original plan (dream?) for February 2020 was to buy a van right after that, convert it, and start driving around the US. But David and I have been talking about it and I think we’ve come up with a slightly different timeline, but with more peace about it.
The new plan is to leave on a year long van-trip in Fall 2020. After I graduate in December, we’d like to visit our friends in the Middle East. It’ll take a hefty chunk of change to go, so having more time to save up afterwards will be a nice cushion for #vandwelling. I can find a job at a coffee shop or retail for the eight months after graduation and we can save up more money. Maybe in the spring we can buy the van and spend the summer fixing up, getting to know it, and feeling more comfortable with it before we leave. This also gives David more time at his job (which he loves) to build his reputation and gain more experience. And we definitely want to stick around over the summer for our Ultimate Frisbee league. Plus, summer in the Northeast is crazy nice, and we will have waited 9 months in the bitter cold for it. No need to rush off before the best weather of the year. Let me brag about it for just a moment.
We’ve got the beautiful ocean
The incredible White Mountains
Crystal clear lakes
And, once again, Ultimate Frisbee! How could we leave just before the best time of the year??
Photo Credit: Paul Stankiewicz
If this all works out, we could leave New England in the fall, head south for the winter–there’s a place in Mississippi I’ll tell you about soon–and then mosey onto the Northwest the following spring. And even though this is still just a dream, it makes me a teensy bit more excited for the impending thunderstorm.
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